Numb/Fall Back.

     I woke up today and thought, what happens when I'm gone, for real? I don't mean gone as in my physical shell reaching it's limit, I mean when that smile fades away and all I have are the thoughts of progress and moving forward. The present is a gift but what happens when Christmas is over? Is it not time to use our gifts? Some people just throw them away, others break them, I just want to spread mine. And for that I will always love you but I will have to leave you. They keep telling me things will be fine but I know they won't be. I've lost the trust of too many people just being me so when I throw on the mask and I have to dip off into the world, what will they think of me then? Probably anything negative the mind can conceive because of where we come from. Nothing but desolate waste and fierce beasts. You didn't vote and you don't care but you want to do better? You can't even make a decision without the okay from your cool friends. But I'm not here to judge. I'm here to make change and I see some beautiful faces everyday who are down to ride as well as make changes themselves. I'm sorry I have let you down so many times, I'm just dying trying to find myself in this world. There are so many people who want you to be them, I refuse. I had a quote to add to this, but I forgot what it was. I hope it wasn't as sad as this post. I'm sorry I can't stop apologizing. I'm just going to end this say what you must.